Stayin' alive

Things are bad, but I guess I'm improving.  Trying, at least. For a moment I thought I've lost my blog lol. And I was panicked. I didn't know the past, the memories could mean so much to me. I think because they are highly significant to my life? In Chinese, we called those 转折点, the point where it changes one's life significantly. I have many "points" in my life.

Points where I get a severe depression, thought I would never lived up from there. Did self-harms, tried to commit suicide, being an alcoholic, nothing was good back then. Frankly, I am an extremely vulnerable person; people whom I care could affect me deeply easily. I was wounded by someone who simply didn't give shit about me. Things were not easy. The way I kept myself alive was brutal. Sometimes I thought death is better, although it was wrong.

But every cloud has a silver lining. During these tough times, there were two friends, both close friends. One kept me alive, and one kept me sane. Can't believe I am actually that weak. I was just an ordinary, low self-esteem person. And I thought no one would ever like me. 

Things were different then. The weaknesses he saw in me, were strengths in others' eyes. And there's this one person, never blame me for my insecurities, listened to my deepest every night, never left me when I was crazed. Then, I also met couple of people who constantly ring me up just to ensure I am well. Aal iz well. I am just grateful and glad that I met these people. Thank you, and I wish everyone is good.